Band of Thieves
by Evil's Muse
Summary: Middleearth has been invaded by an illusive band of pickpockets. Bad news for little Frodo,he's lost the Ring! FINAL CHAPTERS UP! but Band of Thieves II is much better, i must admit.
1. Cloaked Women and Little Green Men

Disclaimer: LOTR characters, setting and such are not mine.  
  
Note: Just a few things before we get started.  
1 - No, this is not a Mary-Sue  
2 - No, no one dies (despite the numerous death threats).  
3 - This story is barely related to Lord of the Rings, except for the setting and a few brief appearances by some members of the LOTR characters, and  
4 - Yes, the 4-cloaked women are based on real people, so yes, there may be a few confusing conversations-but don't let that stop you from reading!  
So without further ado, I give you.The Book of Thieves  
  
1 - Cloaked Women and Little Green Men  
  
"Look! A little green man!"  
  
"What? Where?"  
  
"Oh. Never mind. I guess it was just a bush."  
  
The two hooded and cloaked travelers shrugged and continued on their way, leaving behind two very confused hobbits.  
  
"Ha!" said the traveler in the red cloak. "Never knew what hit him." She tossed a small brown pouch into the air. The other wanderer, wearing a dark brown/black cloak, caught it.  
  
"You're getting almost too good at this," she said.  
  
"That's what I'm here for." They looked at each other and exchanged mischievous grins.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Shh!" whispered a figure cloaked in a green cape. There then came a rustling in the cornstalks close to her. As the toe of one large, hairy foot poked through the leaves, the woman stuck out her leg, and two hobbits came crashing down.  
  
"Sorry!" she said. "So sorry!" she repeated while helping the two hobbits to their feet. "Really sorry about that." She patted the dirt off their vests.  
  
"That's alright," said the hobbit in yellow. He bent over and picked up the carrots that he had dropped in his spill. He nodded, and with his friend, dashed back into the corn.  
  
"Do you think he noticed?" asked a woman covered in a blue cloak, twirling a potato in her hand.  
  
"Of course not," replied the woman in green. "They never do. Too busy lookin' at us."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Short but sweet. Please let me know what you think so far by clicking on that little button down there. Yeah-that one. You know what I'm talking about. 


	2. Cloaked Women Keep on Walkin'

Disclaimer: It's all mine! Except for the stuff that isn't, of course.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Shamon: Thank you so much for reviewing!!!! I was starting to think the story would go completely unnoticed. While I was writing, I changed the direction I wanted the story to go several times, so if it seems to change styles or anything like that, please forgive me. Personally, I think the chapters get better at the second half of the story, but that could be just me. And just to let you know, I do have histories planned out for all four thieves. Book of Blue is actually written and posted by my friend, under the pen name Stary Night, and it is very good. So if you want to know Blue's history you can check that out too. The other histories have yet to be written, and Band Of Thieves 2 is under way. Also, if you have any questions about what is going on at any point in the story I would be more than happy to answer them. Wow, that note was a lot longer than I intended. Sorry. Thanks again for reviewing!  
  
Chapter 2- Cloaked Women Keep on Walkin'  
  
"I almost feel bad taking stuff from them," said the woman in blue.  
  
"Why's that?" asked the one in green.  
  
"Well, they are just so small. And let's face it; they are not very bright either. I mean, they did not even notice! Right out from under their noses!"  
  
"True. But you know the rule: anything that's got two feet and the wit to use 'em is fair game."  
  
"Ya, I guess you're right. If they don't know they're being robbed, they don't rightly deserve the thing that's being burgled now do they?" The two women smiled and laughed.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The red and black-cloaked figures walked along a path winding through the little hobbit countryside. When it became dark out, they still continued walking. And when the sun rose the next morning, they walked some more.  
  
"Fish is gonna kill you," the red figure said as the sun's shadow marked noon.  
  
"Why?" asked the black one.  
  
"Because! You lost her LGM!"  
  
"I didn't lose him!" the woman in black protested. "He just didn't come back."  
  
"Yeah, well that's not gonna fly with the Fish."  
  
"But it's not my fault! He just disappeared into the bushes! He didn't come back like he was supposed to."  
  
"She loved that Little Green Man. 'He didn't come back' ain't gonna cut it."  
  
"You're right. I'm doomed."  
  
The pair walked on for several minutes in silence. The one in black looking a little worried.  
  
"My stomach's growlin'," muttered the red women later. "We haven't had anything to eat since Thursday."  
  
"We had those berries on Friday. And those mushrooms on Saturday," the other pointed out.  
  
"A handful of raspberries and two mushrooms? Those don't count."  
  
"Well, we'll be there by dusk. They'll have the food there. Just keep walking."  
  
The red woman sighed. "Is grass edible?" 


	3. Potatoes and More Little Green Men

Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine, obviously. I don't even really need to say that. Especially because so far in this story hobbits are the only things I mentioned even related to Tolkien.  
  
Chapter 3 - Potatoes and More Little Green Men  
  
The green and blue women stood along the side of a small dirt path. The green one leaned against an old oak tree, carving something out of a stick, while the blue one paced nervously back and forth.  
  
"Where are they?" she asked. "They should be here by now."  
  
"Relax, Oh Watery One," the green girl said, looking up from her woodwork. "It's six thirty at the latest, and Red rarely shows up on time."  
  
Just then they could hear faint voices coming down the path.  
  
"Oh, Susanna! Don't you cry for me! I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee."  
  
"Oh no, not again," grumbled the blue woman.  
  
"Well, it rained so hard the day I left. The weather it was dry." The voices grew louder and two more cloaked figures (one in red, the other black) appeared around the bend, singing, dancing, and laughing.  
  
"It was so hot I froze to death. Susanna don't you cry-"  
  
"What kept you?" demanded Blue over the other two.  
  
"Fins!" cried the woman in red, "Queen of H20!"  
  
"Fins?" the blue girl asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"I'm workin on it," said Red. "Hey, at least it's better than Hammy or Cold & Clammy."  
  
"I like Hammy," the black-cloaked woman said. "You sure you don't like that one? No? Alright then."  
  
"One of these days were just gonna stick you with one," commented the woman in green, putting away her pocketknife, "whether you like to or not."  
  
"Where's the food?" questioned Red.  
  
"Gone. We ate it all waiting for you."  
  
"Come off it. Now what do ya got?"  
  
"Well." mused Green, "we managed to pick up some potatoes." She tossed a couple to the weather-beaten red and black cloaks. "We've also got quite a few apples, and.some mushrooms. The little buggers left before we could lift any carrots."  
  
"This is awful," muttered Red. "Next time, I'm doing the food."  
  
"Fine with me," replied Blue, a.k.a. Fins, a.k.a. the Fish. "Maybe then we'll actually meet on time."  
  
"Oh, forgive me, your Watery Excellency," Red said, bowing down dramatically. "I did not mean to cause a ripple in thy calm waters!"  
  
"Stuff it," grumbled Fins as the other women suppressed giggles.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The four women sat in a circle in the middle of the dirt path, passing a potato frantically back and forth.  
  
"Hot potato, hot potato," they chanted.  
  
"Ah!" screamed Blue as she dropped the potato and the game ended.  
  
"Haha! You lose," chuckled Green.  
  
"Shh!" hissed the woman in black. "Did you hear that?" All the women froze and strained their ears.  
  
Just then, four hobbits came tumbling over the hill on the far side of the path. They landed in a pile not twenty yards away. The women got to their feet and stood off to the side amongst the trees.  
  
"Those are the ones we got the potatoes from," whispered Fish.  
  
"Yeah, we lifted some gold off those halflings, too," said Red.  
  
"You don't think they're coming after us, do you?" Blue asked.  
  
"No," replied Black. "Here's the plan: go around behind them, and we use Red's man to play LGM. Got it? Let's go."  
  
Without another word they stole quietly through the trees at the path's edge. When they reached the little band of hobbits, the silently emerged from the bushes and started walking towards the little curly-haired people.  
  
"Good afternoon," said Black as they approached. The hobbits looked around and greeted the women in turn.  
  
"Lovely day, isn't it?" asked Green, looking up at the clear blue sky. As the hobbits looked up and agreed, Red pulled something out of her cloak.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" she cried.  
  
"What?!" the halflings asked, peering over their shoulders and all around.  
  
"Look! Over there!" Red pointed. "A little green man!"  
  
"A what?" asked Green, stepping forward.  
  
"Where?" said Black as she bumped into one of the hobbits.  
  
All of the sudden a little green man dashed across the path.  
  
"Ah!" yelled the youngest looking hobbit.  
  
"It's.it's a little green man," said the fat hobbit in disbelief.  
  
And it was a little green man. It was sort of like a cross between a garden gnome and a Martian. He stood about a foot off the ground and was somewhat round. He had smooth green skin, green cloth flood pants, and a scraggly green beard.  
  
There was a big commotion between the four big folk and the four four-foot hobbits as the little green man ran back and forth in the path. He disappeared into the trees, then reappeared behind the eight travelers.  
  
One hobbit tried hiding behind one of the women's cloaks. Another jumped up into the arms of the woman in black. A third hobbit shrank away, looking particularly nervous.  
  
In midst of all the confusion, the little green man crept up behind the red- cloaked woman and climbed back into a hidden pocket in her cape.  
  
After a few more minutes, the fuss died down, and the eight people tried to regain their composure.  
  
"Well, um, yes," muttered a hobbit as he backed away from the green woman's cape and straightened his vest.  
  
"Yes," agreed Green.  
  
"That was.odd," said Blue.  
  
Then they all just stood there staring at each other.  
  
"Well, I guess we'd best be off," the black-cloaked woman suggested. She bowed to the hobbits, and started walking down the path. The other women bowed and did the same. As they walked away they could hear the hobbits muttering.  
  
".queer folk."  
  
"Were they Elves?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Queer." 


	4. A Nice Gold Ring

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to LOTR. You know that and I know that, but apparently the people running this site don't, so I have to include this disclaimer.  
  
4 - A Nice Gold Ring  
  
"That was bloody brilliant!" laughed the woman in black. "Sheer brilliance!"  
  
"Did you see their faces?"  
  
"The one screamed like a little girl!"  
  
"I don't think even a little girl could get that pitch!"  
  
"Well, we've got some carrots now."  
  
"That's good. They didn't have much else," said the woman in Black. "But I did get this nice gold ring off the little twitchy one." She held up a thick gold band between her fingers.  
  
"Well, I hope they weren't going to a wedding," said Red. "You might have just stolen the groom's wedding ring!"  
  
"Do hobbits wear rings?" asked Blue.  
  
"Well, whether or not they do, we're still on our way to Bree," interrupted Green. "Less talk and more haste! We don't want to be late."  
  
"She's right," said Black. "Onward and upward!" she cried, and the women moved on at a rather brisk pace.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
It was the second day after the women had run into the hobbits and they were still walking towards to village of Bree. Red and the woman of black linked arms.  
  
"Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin,' Clementine," they sang. "You are lost and gone forever, oh my darlin,' Clementine!"  
  
"For goodness' sake, shut up already!" Blue said exasperatedly. "Or at least learn the rest of the words to that song. You are going to get it stuck in my head!"  
  
"That's the point!"  
  
"A little green man," Red added, somewhat randomly.  
  
"Now why'd you say that?" Black asked. "You didn't have to bring it up. She wasn't going to notice."  
  
"Notice what?" Blue piped.  
  
"You should tell her," said Red.  
  
"Yeah I was going to.eventually. But did you have to bring it up just now?"  
  
"Bring what up? Tell who what?" Blue repeated. "Tell me!" she demanded.  
  
"Black los." Red began.  
  
"Shut up!' Black hissed.  
  
"What?" Blue insisted.  
  
"She lost your LGM."  
  
"What?" shouted Blue. "You lost him? How could you do that? I lent him to you for one trick, just one! And you lost him?"  
  
"Calm down, Water Woman," Black said. "I'll get you a new one. I gotta replace my old one anyway, so I'll just pick you one up too," she suggested.  
  
"I don't want a new one. How did you lose him? You can't lose a Little Green Man!"  
  
"Hey," the black-cloaked woman said shortly. "You don't have to be here, you know. If you're going to keep complaining, you can hand in your hood right now and go home. I said, I'll get you a new one."  
  
"This hood is mine," she mumbled beneath her breath.  
  
They all fell silent, and continued walking-though somewhat uncomfortably. It was by no means a good thing to get the woman in black angry. Blue didn't seem to heed that fact. When Black was mad, she tended to make death threats, then set things on fire; but she didn't want to get rid of the little blue fish, because the little blue fish had a special talent. She was named the little blue fish for reason. 


	5. The Purpose of the Little Blue Fish

5 - The Purpose of the Little Blue Fish  
  
That evening, the woman came upon the outer gate of the village of Bree. They entered the door of the Prancing Pony just as the clouds burst into rain.  
  
"What timing!" Green said.  
  
"Really! Why couldn't it have started just a little sooner!" The rest of the company glanced at Blue and rolled their eyes.  
  
They made their way through the crowd to the back of the pub. The woman in black nodded at a few people as she went past.  
  
Sitting down at a large round table, the four emptied their pockets. They created a pile of gold coins and jewels in the center, though the hobbit's gold ring was not one of them.  
  
"Whoa," gasped the little Blue Fish. "You did not get all that from our rounds in the Shire, did you?"  
  
"No, my dear Fishy," answered Black. "We had a few unexpected tricks before we picked you up." As she said this, a woman in a deep purple cloak appeared at the table.  
  
"Hey, Violet," greeted Green.  
  
"Green Machine! How ya doin'?" Violet asked, pulling out a small wooden chest from inside her cape.  
  
"Same old, same old," Green replied, as Black sorted the gold into the chest. "Caked in dirt, hungrier than Hades, and longing for a good soak in the tub."  
  
"Yeah, but loving life, right?" Violet smiled.  
  
"You know it."  
  
Black finished filling the chest and handed it back to the woman in purple, who then covered it with her cloak.  
  
"Be back in a few," she said.  
  
"What was that all about?" asked Blue. Red got up to order drinks, but no one answered. "You people never tell me anything!" she sighed. Still they said nothing. "Puh," she muttered, "I should just go back to Mirkwood."  
  
"Missin the Elf?" questioned Black as Red returned with four mugs of beer.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Black took a sip out of her mug and peered at the Fish out of the corner of her eye. "Getting pretty cozy with that prince they got over there, I heard."  
  
"What?.I never.I don't.you heard wrong."  
  
"No use denying it. I can see you blushing."  
  
"No, I'm not!"  
  
"Let me tell you something," said Black as she leaned across the table. "I've been a traveling pickpocket for almost twenty years now. I've gone around the world searching for its outcasts, and I give them a second chance. I give them the opportunity to start over. I am offering you a new life. That new life just happens to be a pickpocket's. But if this is not to your liking, you can always go back to the Fairies in the Forest."  
  
Blue said nothing and Black smiled.  
  
"I don't pick up just anybody, though," Black continued, leaning back against the wall, "just the ones with thieving potential. I picked you up because I heard about your little obsession with water; your love of the lake; your frequent nightly excursions in Mirkwood's rivers."  
  
"Pardon me?" shouted the Fish. "I never had any 'nightly excursions!'"  
  
"It's no use trying to hide it," Black interrupted, "I've got witnesses."  
  
Blue sat there with her mouth wide open and eyes wide in shock. "Who? Did the elves really--"  
  
"No, no. They were referring to the morning your friend 'rescued' you from the rain."  
  
"Oh!"  
  
"'Cuts through the water like a shark,' they said. Quite the swimmer, I gathered. Then it dawned on me: with a swimmer in our ranks, a whole new market would open to us."  
  
"I don't understand," Fish said, shaking her head.  
  
"We've been trying to get at those barrels of wine and other goods King Thranduil's halls for quite sometime now. We've never been able to do it though. Security's too tight 'round the front entrance. But with a half- fish," Black grinned, "we might be able to think of a way in."  
  
"So, you want me to steal barrels of wine?" asked Blue. "Like that hobbit did once?"  
  
"Ya," said Black, "and they've also got a great stash of gold in those caves."  
  
The blue woman stared at the others in disbelief. She knew these people were pickpockets, but she had no idea they did jobs of that magnitude. The wood elves of Mirkwood guarded their gold with their lives.  
  
Going back into those trees made her nervous. Something was left behind in that forest. She wasn't welcome there, save by one. She wanted to leave, yet at the same time she couldn't bring herself to do it, until a mysterious woman in black approached her. The temptation in what she could gain in leaving eventually overpowered her care to stay. The thought of going back to rob the very people she had lived with for so many years . . .it wasn't that she didn't want to do it. It was the consequence of if she was caught in the act by the one who wished she'd stay. If the king caught her, she would be sent to the grave.again If the prince caught her . . .she wasn't sure what would happen, but it would most likely be the exact opposite and more painful for the both of them. What did she have to lose?  
  
"Alright."  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
That might have been a bit confusing, but it will make sense later (especially if you read Book of Blue, which is now up and free to be read. I highly recommend reading it. If interested-which you should be-it is written by StaryNight and titled: Book of Blue. I must say it is much more serious than this little fic I have here and much different. I am sure, however, that you will enjoy it.)  
  
Questions, comments, concerns or dilemmas? Please send me a review and I will fix all your worries! 


	6. The AntiChapter

Disclaimer: Do we really have to have these for every chapter? I'm running out of ways to say I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything thereby related.  
  
Note: This is probably the shortest chapter in FanFiction history, hence the name of The Anti-Chapter  
  
6 - The Anti-Chapter  
  
As Blue and Black were talking, several more people in colored cloaks joined their table. They were all drinking and laughing, and having a good time. It was inevitable that they would start singing.  
  
"Blame it all on my roots," Black began as she planted a foot atop the table and raised her mug into the air, "I showed up in boots and ruined your black tie affair."  
  
"What are they singing now?" asked Blue.  
  
"Oh, you'll like it," said Green, "they know all the words to this one. It's a great drinking song."  
  
"The last one to know The last one to show I was the last one You thought you'd see there! And I saw the surprise And the fear in his eyes When I took his glass of champagne And I toasted you Said, honey, we may be through But you'll never hear me complain!"  
  
Then the others around the table joined in.  
  
"'Cause I got friends in low places Where the whisky drowns And the beer chases my blues away And I'll be okay I'm not big on social graces Think I'll slip on down to the oasis Oh, I've got friends, in low places!  
  
Well, I guess I was wrong I just don't belong But then, I've been there before Everything's all right I'll just say goodnight And I'll show myself to the door Hey, I didn't mean To cause a big scene Just give me an hour and then Well, I'll be as high As that ivory tower That you're livin' in!  
  
'Cause I got friends in low places Where the whiskey drowns And the beer chases my blues away And I'll be okay I'm not big on social graces Think I'll slip on down to the oasis Oh, I've got friends, in low places!"  
  
Shouts of woo hoo and yee-haw echoed through the tavern, then someone yelled, 'One more time!'  
  
"'Cause I got friends in low places."  
  
And so they proceeded to sing the chorus another five times before moving on to a new song. They continued to sing well into the night, and didn't go to their room until past midnight.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
That was incredibly short, and for the most part pointless. I had another song written down originally, but I decided it wasn't that important (sorry, Garth Brooks fans!). I do like the song I included here-Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks, and the one I didn't, also by Brooks, called Thunder Rolls. Someone help me! I'm beginning to like country! Ah!!! Hehe. 


	7. A Squirtgun in Middleearth

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything related to it in any way, shape, or form.  
  
7 - A Squirt Gun in Middle-earth?  
  
"Get up!" shouted Black as she stormed into the room where Blue, Green, and Red were sleeping.  
  
"Where have you been?" asked Blue. "I've been up for who-knows-how-long and you were already gone."  
  
"Come on, get up," Black repeated pulling the covers off of Green. "Red," she continued, "get your lazy bum out of bed." She yanked the sheets out from under Red and sent her sprawling to the floor.  
  
"I just love your early morning wake-up calls," mumbled Green as she sat up in bed.  
  
"It's not early!" said Blue.  
  
"Yeah, it's nearly eleven thirty!" agreed Black. "You're approaching noon!"  
  
"Noon isn't that late when you go to bed at four."  
  
"Go to bed earlier then," Black told her.  
  
Black turned to see that Red had pulled the covers to the floor and covered herself back up again.  
  
"For Pete's sake!" Black yelled. "Get up already!" She lightly kicked Red in the back.  
  
"Ugh-mmm," mumbled the half-dead Red.  
  
"Don't make me get the squirt gun," Black warned the red lump on the floor. No answer came and everyone was silent for a moment.  
  
"Look!" Black shouted suddenly. "It's an Elf!"  
  
"Where!" Blue almost screamed, trying to decide whether to run toward the elf or away.  
  
"Huh? What? Where?" Red muttered groggily while rubbing her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, a really hot, tall, blonde one just rode up. He's waiting for you downstairs," she said.  
  
Blue attempted to dash downstairs, but Green held her back, shaking her head.  
  
"Really?" asked Red.  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh." Red rolled back over.  
  
"Somebody do something about her!" Black shouted as she left the room.  
  
"Alright," sighed Green, "come on, Red."  
  
"Uh-uh," mumbled Red.  
  
"Blue, come over here and help me."  
  
"She can get herself up!"  
  
"Blue!" Green warned.  
  
The blue and green women then proceeded in wrestling the covers away from Red. They rolled all over the floor and barely managed to confiscate the blankets. Green put them back on the bed and went to her bags.  
  
Black burst in again, brandishing a new Super-Soaker.  
  
"Red up?" she asked.  
  
"Over there," Green pointed.  
  
Black walked around to the other side of Red's bed, where Red herself was trying to go back to sleep.  
  
"How 'bout a little shower?" asked Black as she pulled the trigger and pelted Red in the face with a jet of ice-cold water.  
  
"Ah!" Red screamed. "Stop it, stop it! I'm up!"  
  
After Red was thoroughly drenched, Black pulled the water gun up and blew across the barrel like they do in James Bond movies.  
  
"I'll bring the wash tubs up," she said, leaving the room again.  
  
"Hehehe," Blue giggled as she caught sight of the dripping Red.  
  
"What are you looking at?" growled Red.  
  
"Nothing," Blue said, holding back more giggles.  
  
"Come here for a sec," said Red with a bob of her head.  
  
"No, that's okay," Blue responded.  
  
"Just come here," Red persisted as she walked toward the Fish.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Blue nervously.  
  
Red jumped on Blue and squeezed all the water from her hair and hood into Blue's face.  
  
"Ahh!" she screamed. "You'll make my gills come out!"  
  
"Not so funny now, is it?"  
  
"Ah, water," Blue sighed suddenly wanting the water, leaning back and holding out her arms.  
  
Red pushed her on her back. "Ruddy little fish," she grumbled.  
  
"Okay," shouted Black as she entered the room for a third time. "Who wants a bath?" she asked, lugging in three large copper tubs.  
  
"Got anything bigger?" asked Blue.  
  
"These are for bathing, not swimming," Black told her.  
  
"Aw, but--"  
  
She swallowed her reply when faced with Black's most famous glare.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Based on a true event, actually. Red never does wake up easily. Another pointless chapter, I'm afraid. But please review! If you don't, I will be forced to curse you and your family for eternity! 


	8. Leather, Blonde Hair, and A Whole Lotta ...

Disclaimer: It's mine, all mine. The only things that aren't are the things belonging to Tolkien.  
  
8 - Leather, Blonde Hair, and A Whole Lotta Gold  
  
Black strolled down the aisle of the barn at the Prancing Pony, running a careful eye over all the horses. She made a mental note to herself and went back to the Inn.  
  
"Barliman!" she shouted as she entered the pub. "You fat old man," she whispered. "Barliman!"  
  
A large round man with a mustache and beard came waddling out to the counter.  
  
"What is it?" he said in a gruff voice.  
  
"I'm here to pay my tab," Black said.  
  
Old Barliman smiled. "How much of it?"  
  
"All of it."  
  
"Ha! You couldn't afford to pay half of it!"  
  
"Try me," said Black, pulling out a not-so-very-small brown pouch. It let out a large thud as it hit the wooden countertop. Barliman's mouth hung open.  
  
"Keep the change," she winked and walked back up to her room.  
  
"Man!" she shouted. "I love being a thief!"  
  
As the woman entered the room, the other three were about to leave.  
  
"Is it too late for breakfast?" asked Red.  
  
"Yes," Black told her.  
  
"Oh good. Lunch."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Later that day the women went for a walk through the village. They eventually arrived at a small thatch roof hut. In the front garden the woman Violet was picking tomatoes.  
  
"Hello," she greeted them.  
  
"Hey, Vi," said Green.  
  
"Here to check on the stash," Black told her.  
  
"Great. Just gimme a second while I put these tomatoes away." Violet picked up her basket and went inside. The others followed.  
  
The house was actually much larger than it appeared from the road, and was very nicely furnished compared to its rough shell.  
  
"Okay, this way," said Violet, leading them to the back of the house, into a room with a large furnace. She pressed something on the back of the stove, and it suddenly began to move. Slowly it slid away to reveal a trap door with steps leading down to an underground chamber.  
  
"Watch your head," Violet told them as they descended.  
  
It was a large, dirt-floored room, brightly lit by seven torches mounted on the walls. Filling the room were big wooden chests with heavy gold or metal latches.  
  
"Here are the keys," said Violet, handing Black a set of ten different keys on a silver ring.  
  
"Wow," Blue gaped. "Are all these filled with gold?"  
  
"More or less," Violet answered. "These are mostly jewels, trinkets, and the like. Those rather large ones over there are filled with armor and weapons. I don't know where she keeps the rest."  
  
"The.the rest?" stuttered Blue. "There is more?"  
  
"Well, yeah," said Red. "We can't keep all the loot in one place, can we? That'd just be stupid. What if someone found it?"  
  
"Inventory," Black called out. "Red, you take the far left corner, Green, far right, Blue, count what's in that corner over there, I'll take this one." She took out four pieces of parchment and some quills and passed them out to everyone.  
  
"Is this really necessary?" Violet asked. "I already know exactly how much is in here."  
  
"I'm sure you do," Black told her. "But thieves will be thieves." She smiled. "I just have to make sure you aren't cheating me."  
  
"Humph," grunted Violet, clearly annoyed with the lack of trust.  
  
"Hey guys," called Red, "look at me!"  
  
She threw her cloak and hood back for the first time. She was clad in thick shiny armor. In her hand she held a large spear and in the other a big round shield. On her head was a silver plated helm.  
  
"I'm Xena, Warrior Princess!"  
  
"Red!" shouted Black. "Take that off! You're dangerous enough as it is!"  
  
"Red," gasped Blue as Red pulled of the helm. "You have blonde hair."  
  
"Yeah," Red confirmed.  
  
"I always thought you had red hair."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, because your name is Red. I just assumed you had red hair."  
  
"I just like Red," she shrugged.  
  
Blue looked at Red suspiciously, "How do I know that's it's real color?"  
  
"Okay, okay," Black sighed. "Red has blonde hair, Green has black, Fish has brown, I'm a dirty blonde-no not that kind of dirty-can we just continue counting?"  
  
"You have black hair?" Red asked Green. "I always pictured you as more of a brunette."  
  
"If Green has black hair, why doesn't she have the black cloak?" asked Blue.  
  
"Because I am Black, and she likes green, and we don't really go by hair color," answered Black. "If we did you'd have to dye your hair blue." Blue shuttered and turned away. "Plus, I just look better in black leather." Black added with a smile.  
  
"Leather?"  
  
"I don't like leather," said Green.  
  
"What's with the leather?" asked Blue.  
  
"You know," said Black, "the leather."  
  
"What leather?"  
  
"Come on, Red gave you the form."  
  
"I never got any form."  
  
"Yes you did. Red gave it to you the week you first got here."  
  
"I don't have any form."  
  
"Red," Black looked at the woman in the corner. "Please tell me you gave her the leather form."  
  
"Of course I did," Red said. Then she looked down at the floor. "Shoot!" she muttered.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Ach-oo!" Red cried, trying to cover herself.  
  
"You didn't give it to her, did you?"  
  
"Green has it," Red told her, attempting to shift the blame.  
  
"No I don't," Green said honestly.  
  
"You probably left it in your pocket," said Red.  
  
"I don't have any pockets."  
  
"Yes you do. You've got that hidden one in your cloak."  
  
"That's you!"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"So where's the form?" asked Black again.  
  
"I don't have it," Red insisted. "Check your pockets, Green."  
  
"I don't have any!"  
  
All of the sudden something small and green shot out of Red's cloak.  
  
"Come back here!" she yelled, darting after it.  
  
The little green man ran all around the room, waving a piece of paper in his hand. He ran past Black laughing. Black snatched the paper from him as he went by.  
  
"Oh look," she said, "a leather order form. I wonder where that came from?"  
  
"Thanks, Francisco," mumbled Red as her LGM sniggered at her. "That's it!" she spat. "No more green eggs and ham for you!"  
  
The little green man stopped laughing and started muttering angrily.  
  
"I'm not wearing any blue leather, if that's what you're thinking," said Blue.  
  
"No, I guess not," sighed Black. "It really wouldn't be appropriate, would it? But don't worry, we'll find something."  
  
"I've got clothes."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Black waved her off. "Keep working."  
  
The rest of the day, Blue kept shooting skeptical glares at Black.  
  
"Ain't wearing no blue leather," she muttered.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Getting better? Not really? Tell me by clicking that little button right down there! Come on, you know you want to! 


	9. The AntiChapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't need one for this chapter, because everything in it is utterly, completely, undisputedly, MINE! Haha! Take that!  
  
9 - Italian Leather and a Shampoo Commercial (a.k.a. The Anti-Chapter 2)  
  
Author: You know what I just noticed? I've gone eight whole chapters without really explaining what everyone looks like. So here it is: picture the four women standing on a grassy knoll with the wind playing in their hair like a Pantene-Pro V commercial. Their cloaks are fluttering around behind them, and they're nicely backlit by the setting sun.  
  
We start on the left with the woman of green. She has short, shoulder length, straight black hair and green eyes. Just to look pretty, she's wearing her emerald necklace. At her side is her sword; a silver hilt with emeralds laid into it. On her feet: almost knee-high brown boots. Legs: green cloth leggings and a tunic (kinda like Legolas in LOTR).  
  
Next, camera slowly rolls over to Red. Red is the tallest of the four women, almost six feet, but not quite. Her long blonde hair swirls around her face. Her eyes are a bright, clear blue, green, gray, orange-well, they change depending on her mood. Around her neck is a small ruby on a golden chain. Her sword is the same style as Green's, only with rubies instead of emeralds. She is dressed in fine Italian red leather. The fitted vest she wears has long sleeves, a gold zipper on the front reaching a quarter of the way up her neck, and two buttoned pockets. Her pants are also red leather, and her knee high, no heel, boots are the same.  
  
Then we focus on the woman in black. She's got a spiked mohawk and a nose ring-no just kidding! Her hair is a light brown with almost blonde highlights. It comes down just past her shoulders and is somewhat wavy (it's not all poofed up and 'big' because she spent an hour straightening it for this shot-which, may I add, would never occur in real life). The sword on her belt has a black and silver hilt with diamonds inlaid in it. She wears a black, fitted, long sleeved leather vest/jacket with silver zippers. Her pants are also black leather, as are her ankle-high boots.  
  
Lastly, we see the woman in blue. Her hair is dark brown, very short (around her ears) and wavy. She is tall and lean, often mistaken for an elf, for she did grow up with them. She's got a sapphire sword and a bracelet with matching rocks. No rings or other jewelry is worn because of the complications they create when she has her frequent swims. She's wearing pants of a bluish hue and a close-fitting, blue spandexy zippered top. Unlike the rest of the group, she wears no shoes because they restrict her expanding digits.  
  
Camera pans out to get a last view of all four women. They stare at the camera (or out at the vast beyond which we the audience cannot see) with serious, 'I'm-so-hot-can't-touch-this-don't-mess-with-me-major-attitude, stares. Then camera cuts to black and audience is left with feelings of 'wow, they're so cool.'  
  
Just as a side note-Black only wears the leather for important occasions. Red is suppose to use the leather only for special things, but usually wears it all the time because she really likes it. But you can't really tell because they're always covered up in the cloaks. Oh well!  
  
The thing about Blue: she has special, well, abilities, (as do all of the thieves) mainly including the fact she is 'part-fish.' Gills form when she enters the water, so she can breath, and extra skin forms between the digits on her hands and feet causing them to become webbed. Her eyes have a special glazed, protected covering so she can see under the water. This will come into play later, so just store it into your memory for now.  
  
Red also has a special talent that will be explained later. And some minor details of the women's looks are subject to change, or addressed at a later date more likely. 


	10. The Dark Shady Character

10 - That Dark Shady Character in the Corner  
  
That evening the women returned to the Prancing Pony for supper and a drink. It was raining hard again that night, but the pub was as crowded as ever; everyone wanting to escape the rain except one inside who wished to be out. The group of hooded women (more like Red and Black, actually) entertained the tavern-folk with several lively songs.  
  
The hours wore on and the crowd dispersed.  
  
"Anyone seen Red?" asked Black. The other women looked over their shoulders.  
  
"Last time I saw her she was sitting with that dark, shady character in the corner," Blue said.  
  
"Anyone seen the dark shady character?"  
  
"Uh.no."  
  
"Wait!" shouted Green. "I think I just saw her go upstairs."  
  
"Figures," mumbled Black.  
  
"You know what's curious though?" Blue mused. "There's a group of hobbits over there at the other side of the room. A couple of them look rather nervous."  
  
"Hey, maybe they're looking for that ring Black got off 'em," Green said in fun.  
  
"Shh!" Black hissed.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
A little while later, Black put away the papers she was working on. "Button up your hoods," she said, "it's raining buckets out there."  
  
"We're leaving?" Blue asked. "But it's the middle of the night."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Are we not going to wait for Red to get back?"  
  
"Hmm," Black thought. "You're right. I'll be right back." She got up from the table and headed up the back stairs to look for Red. Spotting her at the top standing in a doorway, Black yelled, "Red! Time to go!"  
  
"I'm comin," Red replied, not looking away from the person just inside the door.  
  
"Come on! Let's go!" Black persisted.  
  
"Excuse me!" Red shouted back, glaring at Black. "I'm having a moment here!"  
  
"Sorry," Black mumbled as she backed down the steps.  
  
The three other women then ran to the Prancing Pony's barn; protected from unfriendly eyes by the dreary darkness.  
  
"We'll take the Gray, the Buck, the Bay, and the Paint," Black told Green as she plucked a bridle from its peg by a stall.  
  
Green and Black saddled the four beautiful horses, while Blue stood out in the rain. The first, a deep gray with a black dorsal stripe, and a black mane and tail, was tall (16 or 17 hands) and spirited. The second buckskin was a little shorter and very calm. The bay (red in color with black mane, tail, and forelegs) was also very tall and lean, a thoroughbred. And the last was a brown and white paint.  
  
Black and Green mounted their borrowed steeds (the gray and buckskin, respectively), as Blue watched them.  
  
"You're stealing horses now?" she asked.  
  
"Not stealing, exactly," Black said. "More like borrow. Why do you think I left Barliman such a big tip?" She urged her horse forward.  
  
"But Red's not back yet," Blue said as she got on the paint.  
  
"Don't worry," Black assured her. "She's got until 3.2.1."  
  
Suddenly Red came bursting into the stables sopping wet. She stumbled over to the big bay, and tossing a small coin purse to Black, mounted her horse.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Questions, comments, concerns or dilemmas? Send me a review! 


	11. Red's Different

Disclaimer: Nothing has changed in the last 10 chapters. Still don't own LOTR.  
  
11 - Red's.Different  
  
"So." Black said casually after the rain had subdued. "What took you so long?"  
  
"Hmm." Red sighed. "He was hot."  
  
"I'm sure," Black muttered.  
  
"A bit old, but nice looking," Red continued. "He seemed quite anxious, actually. Kept mumbling about a ring, a dark lord, and something about the end of the world."  
  
"So was it just the stimulating conversation that kept you up there for several hours?" Black asked.  
  
"Well, it wouldn't have taken so long if I hadn't been so rudely interrupted, ah-hem!" Red grunted, looking sidelong at Black. "It didn't help either that he kept pacing around. I could never get a good angle. I was this close to nicking his belt-and a very nice sword-but he got a little.distracted."  
  
"Sorry!" Black shouted when Red glared at her again.  
  
"Anyway, after that he went down to the pub. Apparently he's more into short, little curly-haired men. But the silly blighter" Red laughed, "he turned his back! And with a flick of the wrist-BAM! I had the gold."  
  
"Man, woman!" Blue shouted. "Will you stop at nothing to get your hands on a little gold?"  
  
"Uh," Red thought, "I dunno. Haven't really been tested."  
  
"Haven't been tested?" Blue said. "You went to his room!"  
  
"Well, yeah," Red replied. Then getting Blue's meaning she added, "I didn't do anything, if that's what you're getting at!"  
  
"Alright, alright," Black interrupted. "That's enough. Let's just find a place at least semi-dry."  
  
"Why?!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Ugh," groaned Blue as she slid of her horse. "I'm cold," she whined, "I'm damp-not wet mind you-I'm tired, and my butt hurts."  
  
"We've got a long way to go yet," said Green. "Better get your butt used to the saddle."  
  
"Burumph!" mumbled Blue as she threw her hood back and shook out her hair like a wet dog.  
  
"Put your hood back up," Black ordered.  
  
"Why?" asked Blue.  
  
"Don't want anyone to recognize you. Or see your face so they can recognize you later," Black answered.  
  
"But it's dark out. No one's going to see us. Plus, no one's seen me before except elves and they think I've left the world."  
  
"Just put it back on."  
  
"But.ugh!" Blue groaned. "Red was going around the pub with her hood off and everything. Loads of people saw her!"  
  
"Red's.different," Black replied. "She can.change."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, she'll have to show you sometime," Green said, snuggling onto a less wet patch of dirt, "it's really something."  
  
"You people make absolutely no sense," Blue muttered as she wrapped around herself and attempted to sleep. "I just want my skin to get a little wet," she muttered under her breath.  
  
"You got two hours 'til dawn," Black told them, ignoring Blue's comment. "Enjoy your nap."  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Don't worry, I'll explain everything.eventually. 


	12. There's Two of Them!

Disclaimer: please see previous 10 or 11 other disclaimers, they still apply  
  
12 - There's Two of Them!  
  
A few hours later the women began to pack up the small camp. Green was putting out the fire, Blue was with her, Black was packing the horses, and Red was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"You seen Red?" Black asked.  
  
"No," the other two answered.  
  
"Hm." Black mumbled as she walked away. A minute later she reappeared from the other direction.  
  
"Hey, have you guys seen Red?" she asked.  
  
"No," Blue said, "you just asked us that."  
  
"Oh." Black turned and walked away.  
  
A few more minutes passed, Black appeared again from the trees at the right. Then another Black came from the left.  
  
"What the-?" Blue gasped. "There's two of them!"  
  
"There you are!" said the Black on the right. "I've been looking for you all morning."  
  
"Oh, sorry," said the Black on the left.  
  
"I'll be taking my knife back now." The Black on the right held out her hand as the opposite one reluctantly drew a small blade from her cape and placed it in the other woman's palm.  
  
Blue blinked, and when she reopened her eyes, the Black on the left was suddenly Red.  
  
"What the heck was that?" Blue demanded. Red smiled.  
  
"What was what?" she asked.  
  
"There were t.two.two!" Blue stammered.  
  
"Hehehehe," Red laughed as she strolled off.  
  
"You're just lucky she didn't turn into you," said Green, standing up.  
  
Black brought over the horses and the women mounted their steeds.  
  
"Would someone please explain what just happened?" Blue asked.  
  
"I told you," Black sighed, "Red can change."  
  
"Change? You mean turn into people?"  
  
"People, animals, trees.birds.ravens." Black trailed off.  
  
"Are you serious?" Fish gaped.  
  
"Oh yes," Red piped. "I just need something of the thing I'm turning into. Except I can turn into a raven at will. It's really fun. I like flying."  
  
"I can't believe it," Blue sighed.  
  
"Neither could I the first time it happened," Black said.  
  
Suddenly a thought dawned on Blue.  
  
"If Red can change into things," she said, "then why couldn't she just turn into a fish and swim into Mirkwood herself? Or turn into a guard?"  
  
"First of all," Red explained, "one does not simply ambush an Elf, I'm sure you know that. And secondly, I don't do fish."  
  
"What? Why not?"  
  
"I.um.don't particularly like the water."  
  
"How can you not like the water?" asked Blue in astonishment. "Water is.wonderful! It is your friend. It's magic the way you can manipulate it; the way it falls from the sky and bubbles up from the ground. You need not fear it. It."  
  
"Yes, yes, we know you love water," Black interrupted, "please spare us the lecture. That's perfectly okay that Red doesn't do water. That's why we have you." She smiled.  
  
"So does this mean you can't change into me?"  
  
"I wouldn't say that." 


	13. Trouble in the Forest

Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine.  
  
Note: " I know the voices aren't real, but they've got some pretty god ideas" - T-shirt  
  
13 - Trouble in the Forest  
  
Clouds moved in to cover the sun in the afternoon of the fourth day.  
  
"Tut, tut, looks like rain," clucked Green.  
  
When they came upon a woody ridge surrounded by boulders, the women stopped and dismounted.  
  
"Why are we stopping?" asked Blue.  
  
"This is the Hoard," Black replied.  
  
"The what? What is h-hoard?" Blue stuttered.  
  
Instead of answering, Black, Green and Red approached a very large rock resting against the wall of the ridge. They all got beside it and dug their shoulders in.  
  
"Heave!" chanted Red, "Ho!"  
  
The rock began to move.  
  
It rolled out of the way to reveal another stone embedded into the wall itself. In the right side was a small hole.  
  
Green bent down and stuck her hand inside her boot. She seemed to be searching for something, but when she came up empty handed she cursed. "Damn it! I must have locked the key inside! $h!^"  
  
"What?" snapped Black.  
  
Blue was looking bewildered, especially since the other women had just used several words she did not know. Elvish was her native language, and a lot of the words the women used in times like this she had never learned. But something told her they were not nice words.  
  
"This was your one %*$&!^ responsibility!" Black hissed.  
  
"This is the entrance to an old troll cave," Red whispered to Blue. "It holds the rest of our loot, and all the stuff the trolls collected. Green installed a lock in the door so no one else could ever get in. She had the only key."  
  
"I'm sorry!" Green pleaded.  
  
"That's not b-------g good enough! Couldn't you use that d@#n skeleton key of yours?" Black said.  
  
"It won't work on this lock! Listen, just give me a couple of minutes and I'll pick our bleating way in."  
  
"But you said yourself this lock was un-pickable!"  
  
"It is."  
  
"Then how the h@!! are you going to get in?"  
  
"You forget who I am. I made this lock. I know how it works. If I say I can get it, I can. Savvy?"  
  
"What does--" Blue started to ask softly when Black interrupted, asking the same question much louder and much more colorfully.  
  
"What the h#!! does savvy mean!"  
  
"Understand? Get it? Catch my drift? Compren--"  
  
"Okay, okay! Just get us the h#!! inside!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Blue, Black and Red sat hidden in a patch of bushes, waiting for Green to pick the lock.  
  
"Green use to pick locks for a living," Red told Blue.  
  
"How long do you think it'll be until it rains?" Black mused.  
  
"Two hours and forty five minutes," Blue answered.  
  
"How do you know?" asked Red.  
  
"I can sense when it's going to rain. It's just this thing I could do since I was little. No big de--"  
  
"Shh!"  
  
There was a rustling of leaves and the three women hunched lower in the bushes.  
  
"What do you mean you lost it?" came a soft male voice.  
  
"I just don't have it anymore," answered another male.  
  
"Ooh, Gandalf's gonna kill you," whispered a younger one.  
  
Black ventured a peek through the branches and saw four short (three-four feet tall) figures and one tall one.  
  
"Those look like hobbits," she muttered.  
  
The sun sent a brief jet of light through the trees, and Black identified the four small figures as the same four hobbits they had robbed days earlier. And the man was the one Red was with in the pub.  
  
"Sh!%!" she cursed as she crouched back down.  
  
"I can't believe you lost the Ring. Frodo, you idiot," said one of the hobbits.  
  
Ring? Thought Black.  
  
"We're all going to die now. Thanks, Frodo."  
  
"How did you let a Black Rider take it from you? We were with you the entire time!"  
  
"It wasn't a Black Rider," insisted Frodo. "I think it was that black hooded woman we ran into on the road, when that little green thing was running around."  
  
Oh this can't be good, Black thought.  
  
"Frodo," said the man, "this is important. If Sauron finds the Ring, he will cover all the world in a second darkness. He will conquer the world. Do you remember what the woman looked like?"  
  
"I don't know, she had a hood on. It covered her face. So did the others."  
  
"Others?"  
  
"Yes. There were four women, all in different colored cloaks."  
  
"What colors?"  
  
Please don't remember. Please don't remember, Black pleaded.  
  
"Black, blue, red and.green."  
  
Sh^t!  
  
"Red?" asked the man. "You didn't by chance see these same women in Bree?"  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
Thank God.  
  
"We must send word to Master Elrond."  
  
"But we're six days from Rivendell. We'll never make it!"  
  
Suddenly an Elf came riding up on a great white horse.  
  
How ironic, thought Black.  
  
"Glorfindel!" cried the man.  
  
"Aragorn!" cried the Elf. "What is going on?"  
  
"Oh, so that's his name," Red muttered.  
  
"Someone has taken the Ring from Frodo," explained Aragorn. "You must inform Elrond: four women in colored cloaks."  
  
"Women? That is most queer."  
  
"Queer indeed, but time is precious. Please. Ride to Rivendell and alert Lord Elrond."  
  
Glorfindel nodded and spurred his horse away. The man and the hobbits ran into the brush after the Elf, and made their way to the Elven city.  
  
Not good, not good, not good, Black chanted silently.  
  
"What did you do?" asked Red.  
  
Just then the sky ripped opened, and Johnny Depp fell out! No, just kidding, but that would be nice. Anyway.  
  
The sky ripped opened and a sheet of rain came crashing down.  
  
"To the cave!" shouted Black over a crack of thunder.  
  
The women ran through the trees, jumping bushes and dodging shrubs.  
  
"I thought you said we had two hours until it rained!" shouted Black.  
  
"So I lied!" Blue shouted back. 


	14. To The Death

Disclaimer: Same as Before  
  
Chapter 14 - To The Death  
  
The four rain soaked women huddled together in the cave. Once Blue had dropped off her things, she headed back to the cave entrance.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked Black.  
  
"For a walk."  
  
"The he!! you are!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"There's lightning, you idiot! Sit your @$$ back down!" Black tugged on Blue's cloak and the water-loving woman reluctantly sat down.  
  
"Nutter," grumbled Black. "Want to get herself killed. Going for a walk in a lightning storm."  
  
"I've done it before! And you've seen me do it, too!"  
  
"I don't give a sh^t! Just sit down and shut up!"  
  
"Where's my pouch?" Red wondered aloud.  
  
"What pouch?"  
  
"You know, the brown leather one with the rubies in it"  
  
"Haven't seen it," Black said.  
  
"Where did it go?" Red shouted as she frantically searched her many pockets.  
  
"Could it have fallen out?" Blue suggested.  
  
"No! Oh man! It must have been stolen."  
  
"Red, you of all people would know." Black began.  
  
"You!" Red growled, glaring at Black. "You took it, didn't you?"  
  
"I haven't touched them. What would I want with your dirty rubies?" Black spat  
  
"Liar!" Red jumped to her feet, yanked out her sword and pointed it at Black's throat.  
  
Black stared malevolently back; her dark eyes flickering with anger. She slowly got to her feet.  
  
"I may be a cheat and a thief," she said, drawing her own sword, "but I never lie."  
  
"En guard, you coward," hissed Red. "To the pain!"  
  
"No.to the death."  
  
The two women circled around, scraping their swords against each other. Black attacked.  
  
She stepped forward, forcing Red to step outside the cave and into the rain. Soon they were lost in the downpour and all Blue could hear were their loud curses.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"G*# d@m it!"  
  
"Oomph!"  
  
"Sh!^!"  
  
"Ah! That's gonna leave a mark."  
  
"Green," said Blue hesitantly.  
  
Green ignored her and continued to sort a large pile of marbles.  
  
"Green, I think they're really killing each other out there!"  
  
"My eye!"  
  
"Hahah - ow!"  
  
There was a flash of lightning and Blue caught a glimpse of the two shadows. Black was advancing upon Red, who had her sword stuck in a tree.  
  
Blue looked back and forth between Green and the outside. Shouldn't they do something to keep Black from killing Red, or vise versa?  
  
Suddenly Red appeared at the cave's mouth; dripping water from everywhere, including her eyelashes. Small bruises were also beginning to develop all over her face.  
  
"It started to hail," she said grimly as she stalked off to one side.  
  
A minute later Black came in, sporting a nice black eye.  
  
"Hail," she grumbled.  
  
Blue looked nervously between the two women.  
  
"Oh, Black! So good to see you again. I thought I'd lost you," Red said mockingly. "Where were we? Oh, yes. I believe I was winning." She smiled.  
  
"You had your sword stuck in a tree," Black retorted.  
  
Red stopped smiling. She lunged at Black and the two resumed fighting.  
  
Blue was becoming very anxious.  
  
"Are they serious?" she asked Green. "They look serious."  
  
There was no reply.  
  
"Green, we should do something.Green! Do something! GREEN!"  
  
"Not now, I'm busy," Green told Blue with a wave of her hand.  
  
"But." Blue whined.  
  
Black and Red ran all over the cave. Weaving in and out of shadows, lightning occasionally flashing across their determined faces.  
  
"Uh!" Red gasped, looking down at a slit in her pant leg. "Those were my leather pants!"  
  
Their swords clashed, the ringing of metal on metal echoed throughout the stone cavern. They were locked together, and all at once Black wrestled Red's sword away. Red fell to the ground.  
  
"Ha," Black chortled while approaching the fallen Red.  
  
Red leapt up and chucked something round and hard at Black's face. Black's eyes widened just as she ducked her head. When she got back up, Red was poised with her sword in hand.  
  
"You cheated," Black breathed, surprised and disappointed.  
  
"I'm a thief," replied Red, "it's what I do."  
  
Black pondered a moment, than shrugged. She bent down and quickly hurled a rock back at Red. It hit her square on the forehead.  
  
"Hey," Red said, rubbing the red spot. "That hurt. You threw a rock at me!"  
  
"You threw a chunk of gold at me!"  
  
"All right," said Red, tearing off her cloak. "Let's end this."  
  
Black ripped off her cloak as well and held up her sword in front of her.  
  
"Arg!" screamed Red, but as she came forward, she slipped and toppled over Green; scattering marbles everywhere.  
  
Red staggered back to her feet and engaged Black in battle, ignoring the growing rage on Green's face.  
  
"That's it!" Green screamed.  
  
She pulled her own emerald sword from its sheath, and as she passed Blue, took the sapphire sword as well.  
  
She marched directly into the fray and began fighting Black and Red at the same time.  
  
All too easily it seemed, Green had a sword at both the women's throats.  
  
"We're finished here," Green said finally.  
  
"Yes Green," mumbled Red.  
  
"Sorry, Green," mumbled Black.  
  
Green let down her weapons and the other two bowed their heads.  
  
Red and Black sat down while Green collected the marbles that had gone astray.  
  
"Sorry I ripped your pants," Black said quietly.  
  
"Sorry I chucked a piece of gold at you," Red replied.  
  
"I'm not a liar," Black added.  
  
"I know," Red sighed. 


	15. Of Rangers and Lost Memories

Disclaimer: How many times must I say it? I DO NOT OWN LORD OF THE RINGS!  
  
Chapter 15 - Of Rangers and Lost Memories  
  
Morning came with a bright sun, a clear sky, and a light breeze. Blue was the first to wake.  
  
As she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, a glint of gold caught her attention.  
  
Further into the cave there were mounds of gold coins and figurines. They all gleamed brilliantly in the early morning sunshine. Blue gaped at the sheer amount of it all. It could rival even the king's own hoard. It reminded her of the tales of Smaug the Dragon, whose liar had been filled with riches inside the Lonely Mountain.  
  
"Close your mouth," came a disgruntled voice from behind her, "you're starting to drool."  
  
Black pulled herself into a sitting position and arched her back. "These hard stone floors do nothing for me," she grumbled.  
  
"Where did you get it all?" Blue asked.  
  
"Huh?" Black looked to where Blue was staring. "Oh, the treasure. Stole it," she said.  
  
"How could you possibly steal this much?" Blue wondered. "I mean, how long have you been stealing?"  
  
"Depends on your definition of long" Black said as she attempted to rouse Red.  
  
"Incredible."  
  
"Not really. Most of this stuff is troll gold, stuff those giant ugly beasts had been collecting for years."  
  
"And?" Blue prompted.  
  
"And." Black continued, "trolls aren't the smartest things on two legs, are they? Just distract them long enough for the sun to come up and POOF! treasure's yours. Simple as that."  
  
"Yeah, real simple," Blue murmured.  
  
"Oh, for heaven's sake," Black groaned, "wake up!" She threw a stone at Red.  
  
"I'm up, I'm up," Red said groggily.  
  
"Make sure to fill your purses," Black reminded them as they packed up after breakfast, "never know when we might need to make a few purchases."  
  
Green brought the horses to the cave's entrance, where they'd gone during the storm was a mystery, but they seemed pretty dry and happy.  
  
Black and Blue tacked up their horses while Red pulled on her cloak. Something fell out of a pocket. Red picked up a small leather pouch and examined it carefully.  
  
"Oh yeah." she said. "I put it in there when."  
  
"Red?" Black interrupted. "What's that?"  
  
"Nothing!" Red said, whipping her arm behind her back.  
  
"Was that."  
  
"No."  
  
Red dumped the pouch into another pocket and went over to her own horse.  
  
"That looked a lot like that pouch you were looking for yesterday."  
  
"It's not," Red assured Black. "They just look alike.a lot alike.They're very similar.they're the same style except for.okay it's the same pouch," she admitted.  
  
"So you didn't lose it? No one stole it?" Black inquired.  
  
"Guess not."  
  
"You lied then, yesterday. You liar."  
  
Red rounded on Black and whipped out her sword.  
  
"To the." she began, but seeing Green glower with her hand on the hilt of her sword, stopped. "Compromise," Red said, putting her sword away.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Where's Black?" asked Blue a few days later. The dark woman had been absent for the better part of the morning.  
  
"Scouting," replied Green, shifting in the saddle. "She's been a bit more cautious ever since we ran into that man with the hobbits."  
  
"By the looks of things we're gonna have a whole party of elves on our tail before long," Red added. "I wonder what they're so worried about," she mused.  
  
- - - -  
  
The hooded and cloaked woman rode her sleek gray mount through the brush; trying her best keep quiet.  
  
Pausing for a moment, she took out a solid gold ring that she wore on a chain around her neck. She studied it carefully. Why was it so important? It was just another piece of jewelry.  
  
Suddenly something whispered her name. Who the he!! knew her real name? She glanced to the sides, then back at the ring. It couldn't be.gold didn't whisper.  
  
There was a quick snap of a twig and the woman hurriedly hid the necklace under her cloak. Looking around she saw nothing unusual, until the leaves on a large bush started to tremble. Some one was coming.  
  
- - - -  
  
"So, where did you learn all those songs?" Blue asked in attempt to break the silence.  
  
"Songs?" said Red.  
  
"All those songs you and Black sing," Blue said. "They are certainly not Elvish."  
  
"Oh, those songs. Hm.where did we learn them?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Good question. I have no idea," answered Red.  
  
"What?" Blue demanded.  
  
"I don't know," repeated Red. "Black taught me them. She never told me where they came from. She doesn't tell me much of anything, come to think of it."  
  
- - - -  
  
The leaves rustled and out of the bushes appeared a man.  
  
Curse those friggin' Rangers, Black thought.  
  
"Good morrow," he said with a slight bow.  
  
"Guten Tag," replied Black.  
  
As the man straightened Black could see the confusion in his eyes.  
  
Good, Black silently told him, be confused. Be very uncomfortable. Go away.  
  
"Are you alone?" he asked.  
  
"Even under the most normal circumstances, that would be a rather unsettling question," Black answered.  
  
"I am sorry, milady," he said. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn."  
  
So it was the same man that had been tailing them for a week. Joy. Great job, Red. Go find yourself a nice Ranger to rob so he can come hunt us down later.  
  
"I was looking for four women - in colored cloaks - I was wondering if you might have seen them?" he continued.  
  
This would be tricky.  
  
"I have been riding only since dawn," Black answered, "and I have not come across any women in colored cloaks." It wasn't a lie. After all, he had failed to specify a specific time period. If he meant today, then no, she had not come across four women in cloaks-rather she had met with three women not yet in cloaks.  
  
"You will have to pardon me, milady," Aragorn said, stepping closer to Black, "but you happen to fit one of their descriptions very well."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"In fact," he went on, coming ever closer to Black's stirrup. "I have reason to believe that you are the very person I am looking for."  
  
Black raised her eyebrows in mock innocence. "Why would you be looking for me?"  
  
"I believe you have something that does not belong to you," he said coolly.  
  
"I'm sorry," Black said, "but you'll have to be a bit more specific." She smiled wryly. "I have a lot of things that do not belong to me."  
  
Aragorn gripped her boot.  
  
"A hobbit of the Shire recently lost a gold ring to pickpockets. He said a lady clad in black was the one who took it."  
  
"Oh, then you must be mistaken," Black said while gathering her reins, "I am no lady."  
  
She whirled her horse around and left a very flustered Ranger standing alone in the brush.  
  
- - - -  
  
"Black doesn't tell anyone much of anything," Blue grumbled.  
  
"Or did I already know those songs?" Red wondered. "I can remember waking up and seeing Black," she scratched her head, "but nothing before that. Where did those songs come from?"  
  
"All right guys, time to start moving," Black burst in.  
  
"Black," Red asked, "where did we learn all those songs? Did you teach me? Or did I know them before I met you?"  
  
"Does she remember anything? Ever?" asked Blue.  
  
"No, not really," Black answered. "She hit her head one too many times. Seriously, it was the second time that did it."  
  
Red continued to stare and scratch her head.  
  
"Stop trying to remember, Red, you'll hurt yourself," Black demanded. "Come on, we need to move."  
  
"What's wrong?" Green asked.  
  
"That pervy hobbit-fancier is on to us," Black told them as she pointed them in a new direction.  
  
"What is pervy?" Blue wondered aloud.  
  
"That bloody Ranger, Aragorn!" she said with a scowl. "Real nice work, Red."  
  
"Oh yeah, Aragorn. I knew it started with an 'A.'"  
  
"Time to make tracks," Black ordered. She urged her horse into a lope. The others were slow to follow.  
  
"Come one!" she yelled over shoulder. "Ride it like you stole it!"  
  
"But we did steal it!" 


	16. Quoth the Raven: Nevermore

Disclaimer: Hey that last chapter actually had a LOTR element to it! Well, anything related to LOTR is of course not mine, seeing as I am not an old English guy who's been dead for the past 30 years.  
  
Chapter 16 - Quoth The Raven: Nevermore  
  
"Aren't we there yet?" Red whined after several days, weeks, of riding.  
  
"All we have to do is find a good place to stop and set up shop," Black answered.  
  
"Oh, good. This is the fun part!" said Red excitedly.  
  
The four women rode a little further into the dense, black forest, when Blue interjected.  
  
"Wait, are we in Mirkwood?"  
  
"You're a quick one, aren't you?" Black teased.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Some time in the morning (it was hard to tell - not much light came through the canopy) the women halted in a patch of trees with little underbrush.  
  
Black dismounted, handed the reins to Green, and proceeded to knock on the trunks of trees.  
  
"Is she all right?" Blue whispered.  
  
Black put her ear close to one while she knocked, and it gave off a somewhat hollow sound. She then two giant, wobbly steps out, and stopped.  
  
She looked at the ground around her, while doing two small hops.  
  
"Here we go," she said as she stepped back.  
  
Black bent down and groped for something among the sticks and grass with her fingers. Finding it, she lifted up a large door covering a hole in the ground.  
  
"Figures," Blue muttered.  
  
Black went down the short steps into the small cellar, and brought out several metal boxes.  
  
"Blue," said Black, putting down the boxes and closing the hidden door, "the weather forecast, please."  
  
Blue stopped, licked a finger and put it in the air, and inhaled.  
  
"Well," she began as an imaginary map of Middle-earth slid into view illustrating various weather patterns, "there's a storm cell moving in from the east, but it looks like it will pass just to the north of us. Apart from a slight chance of rain tomorrow, it is going to be a beautiful week with highs in the lower seventies, and lows in the upper fifties."  
  
"That's excellent," said Black. "You sure it's not going to rain?"  
  
"Not for another week," Blue pouted. "I like the rain."  
  
"You'll get over it. Now," said Black, handing Blue a rather heavy metal box, "Blue, stay here and clear some space with Green. Try not to leave stumps, please." She looked up. "And let's hope these trees aren't.alive."  
  
With that, Black and Red disappeared into the woods.  
  
"Do they ever tell you where they are going?" Blue asked.  
  
"No," Green answered, "but I don't particularly want or care to know." She handed Blue a large ax and went about felling the nearest tree.  
  
Blue heard nothing other than her and Green's chopping throughout the day, but every couple of hours Black and Red would trudge into camp with piles of wooden boards.  
  
At midday they stopped briefly for lunch.  
  
"Why are we clearing all these trees?" Blue asked, biting into an apple.  
  
"To gather wood," Red said.  
  
"Obviously," Blue murmured. "But why?"  
  
"We're building carts." Blue was still lost. "To carry the gold on?" Red prompted.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I have to go find Black now," Red said, standing.  
  
"Why didn't she stop to eat with us?" Blue asked.  
  
"She wanted to keep working. Sometimes I think she lives off work," Red mused as she went back into the trees.  
  
- - - -  
  
As the day wore on, Blue became weary, so she went for a walk. When she got back, however, she was greeted by her less-than-happy leader.  
  
"Where have you been?" Black shrieked.  
  
"On a walk," Blue said calmly.  
  
"On a walk?" She turned to Green. "How did you let her leave?" She whirled back to Blue. "Never do that again."  
  
"What are you so upset about?" Blue demanded.  
  
"You can't go wandering off out of camp!" Black yelled at her.  
  
"You and Red leave all the time. Why can't I go?"  
  
"Because we know the area!"  
  
"I used to live here! I should know the area better than either of you!"  
  
"True. And since you used to live here, you should know about the man- eating spiders roaming about, or did you forget that little detail?" Black tapped her foot angrily.  
  
Blue opened her mouth to speak but shut it again. She couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
"So, with that in mind," Black went on, "do as I tell you. Got it? I don't want you getting eaten." She turned away.  
  
"Or seen by someone," Red said under her breath.  
  
- - - -  
  
Red went out the next morning to make sure no one was going to stumble onto their camp, either on accident or on purpose. Spiders didn't worry her. If she saw one, she could just turn into a raven and fly away.  
  
Her thoughts were drifting and she was wondering what Aragorn might look like with his shirt off when she noticed a lone Elf.  
  
He was squatting to examine something on the path.  
  
What am I going to do with you? Red asked him silently.  
  
He straightened and Red realized that she had seen this Elf before.  
  
"I wonder." she whispered as she stepped out of the trees to face the intruder.  
  
- - - -  
  
"I should have kept my mouth shut," Blue grumbled. She had complained about chopping down so many trees, so she was stuck with sanding. "It makes my skin and eyes all dry," she said.  
  
"Where is that girl?" Black shouted as she stomped into camp. "I told Red that if she did not get this thing done by today, I would personally have to kill her." She went over to her pack and started sifting through it.  
  
"You mean she's out there alone?" Blue asked. "And you were out in the woods.alone?" She started to smirk. "You shouldn't do that, you know. There are man-eating spiders out there."  
  
Black's head snapped up.  
  
"I don't need any lectures from you," she snapped.  
  
"Yes you do," Blue whispered.  
  
Black's eyes widened. "You watch your tongue, Blue, or I will rid you of its burden."  
  
Just then Red strolled in, chuckling.  
  
"What did you do?" Black asked. "You've got that look in your eye."  
  
"Hehe," Red laughed, "got his arrows."  
  
She held up a finely crafted, slender arrow.  
  
Blue looked at it hard and recognized the arrow immediately. "Those are the Prince's arrows!" she said in astonishment.  
  
"He's a prince?" Red asked, setting down the bundle of arrows. "Cool." She took out a folded sheet of parchment and a quill and checked something off.  
  
"Wow, I just keep moving up the list," she said. "First a Ranger, then a Prince. All I need now is a King!"  
  
"What?!" Blue screeched. Her cheeks turned red as she thought of all the things that list could be. "What did you do?"  
  
Red walked casually around. When she reached Blue, she bent down and whispered, "He's a really good kisser."  
  
"WHAT!?" screamed Blue. "How dare you!" She jumped to her feet.  
  
"I knew there was something going on between you two," Red said.  
  
"I'll kill you!" shouted Blue.  
  
"That's the second death threat I've had today," Red murmured.  
  
Blue drew her sword and ran at Red, who ducked away just in time.  
  
"She's serious," Red said in surprise.  
  
Blue rounded for another attack as Red unsheathed her sword. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into, Blue," Red said as their weapons collided.  
  
"I'll kill you," Blue repeated.  
  
"Yes, you said that already," Red sighed as she pushed Blue away.  
  
They dueled, with Black and Green just watching as if it were two kids playing with sticks. Each time they locked swords, Red whispered something in Blue's face just to aggravate her.  
  
"You two must have been pretty serious."  
  
Clang.  
  
"He seemed to know what he was doing."  
  
Crash.  
  
"Very comfortable with his hands." "I'm going to kill you, you maggot!"  
  
Clang, clang, crash.  
  
"You keep saying that, and yet."  
  
Bang, crash, clang.  
  
"I'm still alive."  
  
"Ah!"  
  
Blue whipped out a knife and threw it, pinning Red to the tree by her cloak.  
  
"Where'd that come from?" Red asked.  
  
"You can't sweet talk your way out of this one," Blue growled as she ran up to Red.  
  
She swung her sword, but instead of sinking into Red's chest, it sank into the trunk of the tree.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know, you're right," came Red's voice.  
  
"Where are you?" Blue looked over her shoulders in confusion.  
  
"Let's say I stop talking, promise never to hit on your ex-boyfriend, the Prince, again, and you stop trying to kill me."  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"Or we could keep going, but I'd eventually have to kill you, and see, I don't want to do that."  
  
Blue looked up. Red was sitting on the closest tree branch, swinging her legs.  
  
"How did you.?"  
  
Suddenly Red morphed into a raven, flew down, and changed into Red again.  
  
She stuck out her hand and smiled. "Quote the raven: Nevermore."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Sorry, that chapter was a little long. See that button down there? Yes, the one that says "Submit Review," press it. Send me a review. If you don't I might never finish this story!!! 


	17. Reunion

Disclaimer: I own LOTR, in my dreams! But since this is not a dream, or perhaps it is, you can't prove the chair exists after all.anyway.anything related to the lord of the rings is not mine. No really?  
  
Note: Thanks to StaryNight for helping me write this chapter. Without her any attempt at romantic/sentimental stuff would be along the lines of 'I love you,' 'I love you too,' 'kiss me,' 'okay.'  
  
Chapter 17 - Reunion  
  
There were so many thoughts crossing her mind at once.  
  
How could Red-what exactly did she do? Legolas was here? What did she do to him? Did Red turn into her? Red's a raven? No, Red was the raven-the one that kept flying by her window. Where exactly was Legolas? Could she sneak out to meet him? How long before they noticed she was gone?  
  
"Get your head out of the clouds, girl!" shouted Black. "You're trying to get the splinters out of a piece of granite!"  
  
Blue stopped and looked own; she had replaced her two by four she had been sanding with a chunk of rock.  
  
"Wasting good sandpaper," Black grumbled as she went back to nailing boards together.  
  
Just after supper the women prepared for bed. When the others fell asleep, Blue got up and headed out to find Legolas.  
  
Her heart raced, not for fear of spiders, she had her sword and a torch for that, but at the thought of seeing the Prince again.  
  
It had been little more than a year since she disappeared from Mirkwood, and they all had thought she died, including Legolas. Would he still feel the same way about her when he saw her again?  
  
Blue emerged on the path Red had spotted the Elf on earlier, but he was no where in sight.  
  
She walked down the path, keeping her eyes open and ears alert.  
  
Suddenly Blue found herself with a hand covering her mouth, her torch fallen on the ground, and someone's breath against her ear.  
  
"Please, do not scream," came his soft, Elven voice.  
  
Blue whirled around. "Legolas," she breathed. He smiled.  
  
"Aluhin."  
  
She wanted desperately to hug him and feel the warmth of his body against her.  
  
"I did not think you were going to come back, after you left in such a hurry this morning," Legolas said.  
  
This morning? thought Blue. Red, curse her for finding him first.  
  
"Legolas," she whispered, "I can not come back."  
  
"You are here now."  
  
"I cannot stay. I have to leave with them again when they finish this task," she whispered, almost wishing it wasn't true.  
  
"You're with them? They are forcing you?"  
  
"Almost. It is more like my service for them saving my life."  
  
"How did you live through your wound? I am sure it was fatal."  
  
"That I cannot say because I am not sure myself." She lifted her shirt, showing him the pink scar that was the only evidence to her near-death experience.  
  
His fingers hesitantly reached out and brushed the skin. When she did not flinch he whispered, "Does it pain you?"  
  
"Not anymore."  
  
"I cannot start to tell you how much pain it caused me."  
  
"I know, I know. I am so sorry, Legolas."  
  
"I kept thinking I could have done something to save you. That I walked away with only a scratch hurt because you did not walk away, but were carried away to die. It hurt I could not be with you for your final moments."  
  
"You are here now. I am here now. It's all going to be alright. I will return soon.I hope."  
  
"So do I," he whispered, stepping a little closer. "I have forgotten the taste of your lips."  
  
She smiled and greatly obliged to his unasked question.  
  
"Your kiss is how I remembered," he told her. "It was.different this morning."  
  
Red!  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"I am glad to have you back to normal."  
  
"Can we please not talk about this morning?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Please! Oh, Red, you're going to pay."  
  
"Red?"  
  
Blue muttered one of Black's favorite curse words under her breath.  
  
"I have to go."  
  
Blue turned to leave, but was pulled back.  
  
"Aluhin, wait."  
  
"No, Legolas."  
  
She met and held his gaze.  
  
"I must go," she told him. "And you must not follow me."  
  
Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but Blue silenced him with a gentle finger on his lips.  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
- - - -  
  
"What did you do?" demanded Blue when she came back to camp and hurled a wadded up blanket at Red's face. Red coughed and sat up.  
  
"What? Where's the fire?" she asked in a startled voice before blinking tiredly. "Ah, Black will take care of it," she mumbled before starting to lay back down.  
  
"I want to know what you said to him," Blue said coolly.  
  
"What are you going on about?" asked Black, who had awoken from the Blue woman's raised voice.  
  
Blue took out her sword and place its tip at Red's throat, completely ignoring Black.  
  
"You tell me what you said to him, and I will consider not cutting your throat."  
  
"Isn't it a bit late for this?" Red yawned. "I thought we already settled this. I won't hit on your Elf anymore."  
  
"That is not what concerns me," Blue growled. "I want to know what damage you have done to my reputation."  
  
"Relax, Cinderella," Red sighed.  
  
"Who is Cinderella?"  
  
"Listen, Fish, I didn't do anything that would put a damper on your relationship."  
  
"I am not sure what damper means, but I believe I must disagree."  
  
Red whipped out her sword and knocked Blue's weapon away.  
  
"Whether I did, or I didn't, it's too late. It's over, done with," Red said. "Now go to sleep."  
  
Red began to settle back into her bedroll. Blue laid her blade across Red's path. But before she could speak, Black placed a hand on Blue's shoulder.  
  
"Did you sneak off to see Legolas?" she asked calmly.  
  
"I would not say 'sneak.'"  
  
"Dam it, woman!" Black roared as she wrenched Blue's blade away and threw it to the ground. "I can't close my eyes for two seconds without you wandering off!"  
  
"I do not see why you are so upset!"  
  
"You risked exposure! What if he had followed you back? What if he did follow you back, and he's hiding in the bushes right now?!" Black went over and started hacking at the nearby brush.  
  
"Did you mention any of us?" she asked when she came back.  
  
"Of course not," Blue replied.  
  
"Blue."  
  
"I might have said 'they.' And I might have mentioned Red."  
  
"NO!" Black screamed. "I can't believe it! How could you be so stupid?"  
  
"Stupid?!"  
  
"What are we going to do? He knows you're here, which is suspicious in itself, you're wearing a cloak-a blue cloak-which is even more suspicious, and if he didn't already know who you were traveling with, he most certainly does now! I might as well just walk right up to the king of Mirkwood, say 'Hi, I'm here to rob you,' and proceed to pilfer and plunder his treasure right before his very eyes!"  
  
There was steam coming from Black's ears, and something seemed to be flickering between her fingers.  
  
"Calm down," Red pleaded. "You don't want to set anything on fire."  
  
"I want to set heron fire," Black growled.  
  
"What are you going to do? Spit flames at me like a dragon?" Blue asked sarcastically.  
  
"Don't tempt her," Green warned.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Black," said Red, "I'll take care of it in the morning. No worries." 


	18. But They're So Pretty!

Disclaimer: NEWSFLASH: Lord Of The Rings is not mine!  
  
Chapter 18 - But They're So Pretty!  
  
Early the next morning Red went off in search of Legolas. He was not hard to find, for he was in the same spot she had run into him before.  
  
That's odd, she thought, he's been here for two days. I wonder if he's waiting for someone?  
  
She stepped out onto the path and the Elf looked up.  
  
"Aluhin," he said.  
  
"Come here," said Blue, "I want to show you something." She grasped his hand and lead him into the forest.  
  
"Where are we going?" Legolas asked.  
  
The woman said nothing. Slowly she let go of his hand and began to walk faster.  
  
"Wait." the Elf said as Blue disappeared in to the trees. "Aluhin!" he cried.  
  
Suddenly, someone jumped him from behind, knocking him to his knees. He reached for his knives, but found himself weaponless. Before he could react, his attacker had a rope tied around his wrists and another around his feet.  
  
He was tightly bound and gagged when Blue stepped around to face him.  
  
"Anu -nn." he said through a muffled mouth.  
  
"Sshh." Blue said, placing a finger on the Elf's lips.  
  
All of the sudden Blue began to warp. Her features became distorted, her hair grew longer and the brown faded into blonde. She grew taller and broader, and her eyes turned blue. All at once, Blue became Red.  
  
"Legolas, darling," she said in mock sincerity, "it never would have worked out between us. I'm sorry." She pulled a dark cloth over Legolas's eyes and calmly walked away.  
  
"Well, that was much easier than I thought it would be," she muttered to herself as she vanished into the underbrush.  
  
Blue was sanding, Green was nailing boards together, and Black was rummaging around in the storage cellar when Red waltzed into camp.  
  
"Problem solved," she said cheerily as Black emerged with a large wagon wheel strewn over her shoulder.  
  
"Whoa," Red mumbled.  
  
"So?" Black asked, setting the wheel down. "You fixed everything?"  
  
"Oh yeah, right," Red stuttered, taking her eyes of the heavy piece of woodwork. "I took care of it. We won't be needing to worry about him anymore."  
  
"Who? What?" asked Blue.  
  
"I'm sorry, Blue," Red said, "but I had to do it."  
  
"Do what? What did you do?" she asked frantically.  
  
"He would have only caused trouble."  
  
"What did you do?!"  
  
"I didn't have a choice."  
  
Blue gasped. "You killed him!?"  
  
"Oh, no, no," Red assured her. "I try to avoid killing people. It gives me nightmares. I just tied him up and left him for the spiders."  
  
"You WHAT!" Blue shrieked. She threw away her tools and started to run.  
  
Black grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Leave it," she ordered.  
  
"But he'll die!" Blue protested.  
  
"He is no longer your concern," Black told her, "forget about him."  
  
"I can't forget about him," Blue whispered as Black pushed her back to her work station.  
  
Blue went back to her task, however, she was already formulating a way to sneak off. But every time she tried to leave Black was always there. Well, almost always, anyway.  
  
Several days later the women had the beginnings of a nice pair of wooden wagons.  
  
The peace of their camp during lunch was interrupted dramatically when Red came in, panting and out of breath.  
  
"We got a problem," she gasped.  
  
Black jumped up. "A problem?"  
  
"Well, more like two problems," confessed Red. "The Elf - he escaped - somehow. I saw him with Aragob not a mile to the south."  
  
"Aragorn?"  
  
"Yeah, that's what I said."  
  
"Sh^t!" cursed Black.  
  
Black made to leave, then thinking better of it, went over to Blue, who was trying hard not to look guilty.  
  
"Do us a favor," she said, "I know it's hard for you, but please, stay here. And try not to do anything.stupid." Black glared at Blue briefly, then rushed off after Red.  
  
"Stupid." muttered Blue, "who does she think she is? Leaving an innocent Elf bound and gagged in the middle of the forest? Not stupid.moral."  
  
"You did it, didn't you?" Green asked. Blue did not reply.  
  
"She'll have your head for this, I hope you know."  
  
"Humph," Blue grunted.  
  
She waited for Green to immerse herself in her work before tip-toeing into the trees to follow Red and Black.  
  
"I'm going to roast her hide on a spit," Black growled.  
  
"Sh!" Red ordered.  
  
".And then she turned into some blonde woman in red right before my eyes!" Legolas whispered.  
  
"You changed?! Right in front of him?" Black hissed.  
  
"Well, I didn't think he'd live tell about it!"  
  
"What was that?" Legolas asked suddenly.  
  
Red and Black ducked behind a pair of trees. Aragorn drew his sword and started walking in the direction of the two women. Legolas pulled out his bow, which was quite useless really, since he had no arrows.  
  
As Aragorn approached the women's hiding place, the two simultaneously took out their swords and placed them at the man's throat.  
  
They stepped out from behind the trunks and advanced upon Aragorn, pushing him back to the path where Legolas stood dumbfounded.  
  
Red stayed with Aragorn as Black went to point her sword at the Elf.  
  
"You," Legolas snarled.  
  
"Ah, yes," Black said, "it is I, the one your friend so fondly refers to as Aegnor, fell-fire. Tell me, how is he?"  
  
"I warned you of what would happen if you dared to enter this forest again," Legolas said, ignoring the sarcasm in the woman's voice.  
  
"Aye, indeed I remember. And that is why it is so tragic that you had to stumble upon us," Black replied. "For now that you have, I have no other choice but to kill you." Black pressed her sword closer to Legolas's skin.  
  
"But they're so pretty," Red interjected, "it be a shame to lose something so fine."  
  
"Oh, you'll get over it," Black told her. "Besides, no one is going to miss one, dingy Ranger."  
  
"This is no mere Ranger," Legolas chided, "he is Aragorn, son of Arathorn."  
  
"Well woop-de-doo," Black said, waving her hand around her head.  
  
"And heir to the throne of Gondor!" the Elf added.  
  
"Is he now?" Black asked. "That's interesting."  
  
"Cool!" Red shouted. "I got a Ranger and a King all in one go!"  
  
"Shut up, Red," Black spat. "Heir, you say? So he is not King yet? Well then I suppose no one knows he is the all mighty heir," she mused. "So I doubt it would make much difference to the people if I killed him."  
  
"Aye, but I doubt Thrandruil will be too pleased at finding his son's been murdered."  
  
Black and Red wheeled around, to find Blue leaning against a nearby tree.  
  
"Shut up, and stay there!" Black demanded. "You've caused enough trouble."  
  
"More like prevented it," Blue said.  
  
"I said shut up!" Black screeched.  
  
"Aluhin," Legolas sighed.  
  
"You can shut up too," Black said.  
  
Legolas glared at the hooded woman. "You kidnapped her, and are forcing her to do your will, though she has done nothing to you!"  
  
"No, no, my lad. I can assure you I cannot force her to do anything she does not truly want to do. And she does have somewhat of a debt to pay." Blue's hand fluttered over her abdomen, where a small pink scar was the only evidence of an attempted execution.  
  
"Please, spare him," Blue pleaded.  
  
"Who?" Black asked. "Him? or them? I didn't quite catch it."  
  
"Couldn't we, I don't know," Blue said, "keep them prisoner until it's all over?"  
  
"That would only complicate things further, and we'd be wanted for kidnapping. No, it'd be much easier just to kill them," Black insisted.  
  
"But then you'd be wanted for murder," Blue pointed out.  
  
Black stood silent in thought.  
  
"We could keep them in the cellar," Red suggested.  
  
Black looked back and forth between them all. Blue had pleading, desperate eyes (Black was still amazed at how stupid love made people), Red was somewhat hopeful-she didn't really like killing, but she really liked the man; and Aragorn and Legolas-they were just very lost and confused, not to mention extremely frustrated.  
  
"All right," Black sighed, letting her arm drop. "But that doesn't mean there won't be pain and torture," she warned. "Bind their hands and cover their eyes. And put a gag in their mouths. The last thing I need is the whimsy, nonsensical musing of some Woodland Fairy," she muttered.  
  
"If you deliver the Ring," Aragorn said suddenly before Red had the chance to gag him, "we would leave and let you do as you would-no hindrance."  
  
Black's eyes grew slightly larger.  
  
"Ring?" piped Red. She lifted up her hands. "I have lots of rings. You have a nice ring," she told Aragorn. "I like rings." She grinned.  
  
Aragorn ignored her and continued to stare intently at Black.  
  
"What's it worth to ye?" Black asked.  
  
"Its value cannot be measured in silver or gold," Aragorn responded.  
  
"Can it not?" Black tilted her head. "Then I am afraid your offer is of no value to me."  
  
Before the man could say any more, Red slipped a faded green cloth into his mouth, and another, darker one over his eyes. "Come along, my little Ranger."  
  
The women them proceeded to guide their prisoners back to camp. And amid all the jostling, Aragorn never noticed Red casually slip his ring of his finger.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
A/N: Almost complete! Just a few more chapters! And just so you know the last two chapters go by pretty quick. There is going to be sequel to this story, but if I do not get any REVIEWS (hint, hint) I might not be compelled to post it. SO PLEASE RESPOND! 


	19. The Setup

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings in any way, shape, or form, any quotes that might appear from other films.  
  
Chapter 19 - The Setup  
  
"Down you go," Black said, "watch your step."  
  
Aragorn and Legolas tumbled into the underground storage room, still bound and gagged.  
  
"If you get hungry there's plenty of nice, friendly cockroaches crawling around. Don't be afraid to help yourselves," Black told them before she slammed the door. "Get to work!" she ordered the others.  
  
"Can I go down?" Red asked a few hours later.  
  
"No," Black said curtly.  
  
"Pleeeaaaaseeeeeee." Red whined.  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine," Red pouted. "I guess you'd rather Blue go check on them, then?" she added slyly. Black's head shot up. "I'll just go get her, shall I?" Red took a step toward Blue.  
  
"No, no," Black chirped. "I definitely do not want to give her that kind of opportunity." She glanced anxiously at Blue. "Go ahead," she relented, "but be quick about it!"  
  
Red clapped her hands together giddily and giggled. She hopped over to the cellar and went down.  
  
"Hello, prisoners," she chuckled. "Hehe, this is fun. We've never had captives before." She sat on the ground opposite the man and Elf, looking like some innocent child with her legs crossed 'Indian-style' and her eyes wide.  
  
"Oh, what's this?" she asked, scooting closer to Aragorn in order to finger a bright silver jewel hung around his neck. He pulled away at her touch. "Who gave you that?" Red asked. "Wait, silly me, I have to take out the gag for you to talk." She removed the cloth and repeated the question. "I know someone had to have given it to you, because I would have remembered something like that. And if you did have it before, chances are, I'd probably have taken it by now. Oh, Elvish. I hear those are very nice."  
  
Aragorn said nothing, but leaned farther away from the pickpocket.  
  
"It goes well with your eyes," Red went on, "but-" she yanked the necklace off, "you won't have those much longer, so you won't be needing it anyway."  
  
"What?" Aragorn stuttered.  
  
"Yeah," said Red with her utmost sense of causality, "Black does that occasionally-takes people's eyes. Just when they've seen somethin' they shouldn't have, though." Red delighted in the nervous squirms and straightening of her two captives. "Only joking!" she said when she could no longer contain her laughter. "But she might cut out your tongue."  
  
"I've finished those barrels Green started," Blue said. "May I please go down now?"  
  
"No," Black told her shortly.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Your record's against you. Every time you've gone near that Elf something happens which only complicates things further."  
  
"But you let Red go down, and she hasn't done any work!"  
  
"Is she still down there?" Black looked up from her work.  
  
"Yes!" Blue exclaimed.  
  
Black threw down her hammer and went over to the cellar, mumbling something under her breath. She hauled the door open and went in.  
  
"So then, get this!" Red laughed, "The guy actually thinks I'm the Queen!"  
  
Black cleared her throat.  
  
"Oh, hello," said Red cheerily. "I was just telling them about that one time, when that guy-the one with the gold tooth, you know? Anyway, I was just telling them how he actually thought I was this really powerful Queen and."  
  
"Yes Red," Black interrupted. "I'm familiar with the story. I was there, after all."  
  
"Yeah," Red sighed, "that was great."  
  
"Would you mind re-surfacing while it's still daylight?" Black asked.  
  
"But I'm telling them a story," Red protested.  
  
Black narrowed her eyes. "I think you're finished with it."  
  
"But."  
  
"You have work to do."  
  
"Can't it wait?" whined Red.  
  
"I don't care when you start, but I will expect it to be done by tomorrow, even if it means you work all night."  
  
"Fine," Red said, rising and stomping up the steps.  
  
"What did she tell you?" Black asked once Red was out of earshot. Neither Elf or Man responded. "Humph," she grunted as she replaced the gags Red had removed.  
  
"Don't know what you told them," Black said as she exited the cellar, "but they sure shut up hard."  
  
"Probably hate her for trying to kill them," Blue whispered.  
  
"That, and the fact they're terrified she might cut out their tongues," Red replied.  
  
"What?"  
  
Red giggled. "I told them she'd cut out their tongues if they said anything she didn't like."  
  
"She doesn't really, does she?" Blue asked.  
  
"No," Red assured her, "at least I don't think so. She's threatened to do it to me tons of times, but she never has."  
  
"Oh," Blue gulped slightly.  
  
"What are we going to do about the two Inconveniences?" Black asked the group on the eve of their planned heist.  
  
"We could hit them over the head," Red suggested. "I know that works, I've gotten hit over the head often, and I can never remember anything."  
  
"But we can't hit them too hard," Blue interjected. "They might get seriously hurt."  
  
"Sounds good to me," said Black. "Green? Any objections?"  
  
"No," Green answered. "Where I come from we would just dump 'em off on some barren, deserted island in the middle of the ocean, but hitting them on the head works too."  
  
"Where do you come from?" Blue asked.  
  
"Pirate," Green answered.  
  
"Oh, right," Blue nodded, trying to give the impression she knew where Pirate was.  
  
"It's settled then," Black said with a clap of her hands. "We hit them on the head, they remember nothing, but they still live. Everybody's happy! We leave at dusk."  
  
Blue was hurriedly untying Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
"You've got to get out of here," she said in a hushed voice. "Just start running and don't look back." She shoved them up the stairs.  
  
Legolas turned to Blue, grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. Her hand curled around his shirt, pulling him close for the moment's time, returning it before breaking away and shoving him hard in the chest.  
  
"Go," she gasped. He looked back at her, his eyes full of sorrow, and whispered 'I love you' before turning and fleeing with Aragorn.  
  
"Forgive me," Blue whispered to herself as the two neared the edge of the clearing.  
  
Just as they were entering the protection of the surrounding trees, they both suddenly and violently went flying backward.  
  
Red and Black stepped out from behind two large trunks and looked over the two fallen captives, each holding a thick wooden board.  
  
"Did it work?" Red asked.  
  
Blue came rushing up as the Elf and man struggled to sit up, rubbing their heads.  
  
"Legolas," she said.  
  
The Elf opened his eyes.  
  
"I am so sorry," she whispered in Elvish. "Pretend not to remember me. If you want to live, please, act like you remember nothing."  
  
"What?" Legolas said in a daze.  
  
"Good boy," Blue muttered. "I got nothing," Blue said to Red and Black.  
  
"Are you sure?" Black asked skeptically, "I swear we didn't hit them hard enough."  
  
"They landed flat on their backs!" Blue said.  
  
"All right," Black relented, tossing the board away. "Tie them up and leave them here."  
  
"Tie them up?" asked Blue in disbelief. "You erased their memories, isn't that enough?"  
  
"Only temporarily," Black answered. "Now just get going! We don't have much time. Follow Red, I'll take care of things here and catch up."  
  
Red and Green headed into the woods, while Blue continued to stare at Black.  
  
"Now!" Black ordered, and she shoved the blue woman after the other two.  
  
When Blue had finally disappeared, Black stooped down to tie Aragorn and Legolas to a tree trunk.  
  
"I know you remember everything," Black told Legolas as she wound a thick cord about his body. "Don't worry, Fairy-boy," she said softly, "I will return your Water-child to you, in time."  
  
Legolas looked quizzically into the women's dark hood as she rose to her feet.  
  
Black then turned her back to him in order to face the stump-sprinkled clearing she had made with the other thieves. She raised her arms and held her palms out. A faint, orange light began to swirl around her fingers. It grew, swirling faster and faster, until the woman had a small ball of fire spinning in her hand. Then with a quick flick of her wrist, she sent it flying at the grass in the center of the small clearing. It quickly caught fire, and the flames moved swiftly to cover the clearing.  
  
The woman watched the pyre in an odd sense of calm as it neared the taller, outer trees. The woman somehow seemed to be controlling the fire so that it would not go beyond that tree line. When Black felt the fire had thoroughly charred the clearing to make it appear as though a wild fire or the like had merely been there, she waved her arms dramatically about in the air, and the flames diminished.  
  
She turned briefly to the man and Elf tied to the tree, both of whom were thoroughly shocked, and bowed. "Ta!" she said as she too disappeared into the trees. 


	20. The Sting

Chapter 20 - The Sting  
  
The King's Guards were snoring; slumped in their chairs with overturned goblets. They had been drinking. Heavily.  
  
All at once, one was startled awake by a particularly loud splash.  
  
"You there!" he shouted, after coming to his senses and noticing a figure clad in a tight, full body suit that reminded him oddly of a fish's skin, "hold it right there!"  
  
The figure paused momentarily. The barrel that they were holding hovered dangerously over the river's edge. The guard stepped closer, the fish- figure dropped it.  
  
"Don't move!" the guard ordered as the barrel bobbed under the small outlet in the cave's wall. The fish-figure waited for the Elf to come much closer, then dove into the water.  
  
The guard bent over the bank, peering into the stream's murky depths, and saw nothing. He turned to shout something back at his partner, but only managed a stifled yell as a hand shot up, seized his collar, and yanked him into the water.  
  
The second guard soon came running, only to find his comrade battling with something in the river; splashing wildly. As the Elf and fish-person were swept out through the hole in the wall, the other Elf hurried to alert the other guards in Mirkwood Palace.  
  
By the time he reached the main entrance, the first guard came hobbling up, with a woman all in green in his custody. Both were dripping wet.  
  
"She attacked me," he grunted, in Westron, throwing the woman at the front guards. "She was trying to steal the King's mead. There may be others. I think I saw a wagon head up that way," he pointed.  
  
There was now a large group of Elven guards crowded around the gates. Two of them took the disgruntled green woman to the dungeons while the others followed the soggy Elf.  
  
"Split up," he told them. "We'll surround them. You two..." he grabbed two young archers, "come with me."  
  
They sprinted off into the trees, the mead-guard's boot squishing slightly with every step. "There they are!" he whispered.  
  
A few yards ahead there was a figure in black driving a wagon laden with the King's mead barrels. One of the archers fitted an arrow to his bow.  
  
"Halt where you are!" yelled the other. The person driving showed no sign of hearing, as the wagon rolled on.  
  
The Elf let loose his arrow, but as he did so, he was bumped, and the arrow hit a barrel instead.  
  
Then all chaos ensued. The barrels exploded; sending sparks and a flurry of feathers in all directions. It sent all the surrounding Elves into a daze and state of confusion as they were bombarded with the feathers and thick gray smoke.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------  
  
"Almost ready?" asked the dripping guard.  
  
"Just about," answered the woman in green. "Our fishy friend is getting the last gold barrel."  
  
At that moment, a barrel came bobbing out of the cave, a woman in shark's skin helping it stay afloat.  
  
The guard and woman in green helped bring the barrel up out of the water, and loaded it onto a fully loaded waiting wagon.  
  
"It's good to be in the water again," sighed the fishy woman, emerging from the river and draping a blue cloak around her shoulders.  
  
"Nice work," said the guard as the three climbed onto the wagon. "Ya!" The Elf cracked a whip, and the two horses at the wagon's head began walking.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
Once she felt the burst of the barrels behind her, the woman in black expertly jumped free of the wagon and disappeared in the thick smoke cloud. She ran through the trees, careful not to make much noise lest the Elves hear her, despite the diversion.  
  
When she was safely out of eye or ear shot, the women slowed her pace and began walking in the direction of two people bound tightly to a couple of trees in the distance. The two captives—one Man, one Elf—were conversing frantically in hushed voices. They abruptly fell silent when the hooded woman materialized out of the trees.  
  
"Back again so soon?" questioned the man.  
  
"I have a proposition for you," the woman said, kneeling to the others' level.  
  
"There is no proposition that can be trusted if made by a kidnapper and a thief," the Elf said bitterly.  
  
"I'm afraid you have no other choice, my dear Princeling," the woman replied.  
  
"What do you want?" the man asked.  
  
The woman returned her attention to the Ranger. "It took me a while," she said, "but I finally came to my senses." She slowly retrieved a thick gold ring from a pocket in her cloak and held it in her outstretched palm.  
  
"I was holding it," she continued, "after I'd made a few fireballs, and I noticed something very strange." The woman began to rotate her hand slightly, at the same time wisps of feathery gray smoke issued from her palm. "The ring began to glow." And so it did then. "Then a peculiar kind of writing appeared along the band." The Elf and the man tied to the tree watched as markings were etched onto the gold with an invisible chisel.  
  
"This is the One Ring," stated the woman, "is it not?"  
  
"I see no use in denying it," admitted the man.  
  
"You knew this," the woman went on, "and yet, you let a small hobbit with big ears and hairy feet take it? What was he planning to do with it, may I ask?"  
  
"You may ask, but I will not answer," the man told her.  
  
"Ah, I understand," the woman nodded. "An errand of secrecy, as is my own." The man bowed his head in agreement. "Then here is my proposition: I return the Ring to you and let you continue with your errand, and you let me and my company go. Thus both errands of secrecy remain just that: a secret. What say you?"  
  
"That's it?" the Elf asked. The man, as well as the cloaked woman, glared at him.  
  
"I will honor your request, if you honor it yourself," the man agreed.  
  
"I shall," the woman promised. She whipped out a short knife and proceeded to cut the two captives' bindings.  
  
"There is one more thing, however, that I must ask of you," the man said as he was freed from his bonds.  
  
The woman paused to ask what that might be.  
  
"I need you to return the Ring to the hobbit from whom you stole it to begin with," he said.  
  
"What?" the woman asked, throwing up her hand in disbelief. The Elf leaned nervously away from the woman's flailing knife hand. "You want me to trudge half-way across Middle-earth just to give some hairy midget man back a piece of gold jewelry? Do it yourself!" she yelled while rising to her feet.  
  
"Please," the man implored, "you must do this."  
  
"What for? I already said I'd give the Ring to you! What? Are you afraid of a little gold ring?" she taunted.  
  
"I cannot take it," the man said.  
  
"Then make the Elf take it," said the woman.  
  
"I don't want it," the Elf quipped from his position on the ground.  
  
"What a bunch of sissies!" the woman said, exasperated.  
  
Suddenly the woman felt her arms wrenched up behind her back and her knife stripped from her hand. The Elf had somehow wriggled free while she wasn't looking.  
  
"You have the choice of aiding us freely, or forcefully. Either way, you're doing it," the man told her as the Elf placed the knife's sharp tip to her back.  
  
"That is a dirty little trick," she breathed. She debated with herself for a minute, then reluctantly consented. "Fine."  
  
She twisted herself free, rounded on the Elf, and snatched her knife back. "Ruddy Elf," she muttered as she glared.  
  
"How long will this take?" the woman asked the Ranger.  
  
"Less than a fortnight," he responded.  
  
"There is no getting a straight answer around here, oh no," the woman mumbled to herself. "No, they love their ambiguity too much." Then addressing the Ranger once more she said, "Since I will be gone for a while, you must in turn let me alert my company to my brief absence."  
  
The man was about to reply when the woman spoke again. "On second thought," she mused, "perhaps not. No, I do not think that is absolutely necessary." She smiled. "What are we waiting for? Let us proceed!" And the woman shrouded in her black cloak marched off into the forest, with the man and the Elf close behind.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------  
  
"That went rather well, don't you think?" asked a woman in red, who had taken the place of the Elven guard. "I think it went very well," she said, tossing a small brown button in the air.  
  
"So," said the woman in blue, "what are we going to do with all of this?"  
  
"Oh, didn't we tell you?" asked the woman in green. "We're buying a boat."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
A/N: Don't know what happened? Here's a brief synopsis:  
  
Blue swam through the opening in the cave wall where wine barrels are sent down the river (mentioned in The Hobbit). She started to send barrels of wine out the hole, where Red and Green were waiting to load them onto a wagon. She lured the guard over to the water's edge, pulled him in, and sent him out the hole as well. Red then knocked the guard out, took a button from his uniform, and tied him up and hid him out of sight. Red then transformed into that Elven guard, because she has the ability to change shapes, and took Green to the front of the palace. Green was taken to the dungeons, but had quickly picked the lock and joined Blue in loading barrels of wine and gold into the wagon. Red at the same time, as the Elven guard, led the other guards to Black-who was driving a decoy wagon with barrels full of feathers and gunpowder. When the archer shot his arrow, Red nudged him so it would hit a barrel and not Black. The explosion created a diversion for both Red and Black to get away.  
  
There you have it. If you still don't get it, I'm sorry. 


End file.
